My GYN appointment....

Well it was enlightening. I knew I was going for a chat session about the conization deal. They cut out an ice cream shape from the cervix, because the bad stuff is up inside the canal to the Uterus. When they called me and told me the repeat test results a couple weeks ago, they only said that the test came back confirming that I needed the procedure. I had planned on, and did ask if I could wait and have it done in Sept, after the kids were back at School. Usually there is a 4-6 weeks time that you cannot go into the water.. but turns out it's only a week with what he is doing. I didn't want to ruin yet another Summer.

Turns out I can't afford to wait that long. I have pre invasive cancer cells. He said to wait the 3 months, only to find out it had become invasive would be bad.

After more conversation, and my concern of adding to chronic pain.. any procedure can do that now. He said well it *can* happen, but hopefully it won't and we don't have an options.

He will not take out all of the canal, because there are major blood vessels at the top, but he will sample what remains, along with the material that is removed.
As long as there are clean edges, and that upper area is free of bad cells, I'm all set.. except for a pap every 3 months for 2 years. (grumble).. if the results come back bad, they repeat the procedure, or, possibly do a hysterectomy.

just once, i'd like to catch a break.

Also had Pain Clinic appt today.. she was 40 minutes late getting to me, so i have to call and reschedule. This was to tell her the injections helped as much as pissing on a thousand acre fire.. and to see if they will inject my shoulders. I'm in no rush to call them. I am not impressed. Legs are getting worse fast, more conerned about that, than the shoulder pain i've lived with since.. forever. (after 15+ years, we're old friends.)

when overwhelmed.. add more.

Well in this case, I guess it's taking away.. I'm gonna try and loose this weight again.

after my last back surgery, i began to gain weight. It failed, I'm a chronic pain person now. It hurts to move, so you don't. So anything you eat, with a LOT LESS activity, piles on the weight.
Steroids, pile on the weight, other meds, pile on the weight.
Cymbalta, for nerve pain and depression, I just found out they give to anorexia patients.. well I can tell you, it sure ass hell works!
I had lost 22 pounds, no small task.. and promptly put it ALL back on while on the Cymbalta. The med didn't help either nerve pain or depression, so I stopped.. but it was too late for the weight gain. I CRAVED sugar/carbs. Within 3 weeks, I must have eaten 15 huge boxes of Corn Flakes.. with an insane amount of sugar on each bowl. So that it sits at the bottom if the bowl kind of insane.

Yesterday my Medifast order arrived. I found a code, that got me not only free shipping but 4 free boxes. =) So yesterday I had 3 shakes, and a turkey sandwich for Dinner. No Rum.. boo. No sweets!

Hubby is the original Candy Man.. always has sweets. His breakfast usually consists of 2 Mr. Goodbars, and a Coke. (and yes, his teeth are rotten!) Being around bowls of M&M's, giant bags of...well whatever. You name it.. we've got it around.

The kids all have snacks for school of course.. Gosh.. it's like half my grocery bill!

I've used the product before with great results. I did the NO FOOD version. Right now i'm just eating a dinner.. if I eat to little, my body will shut down and not burn because it thinks it's starving, so I actually have to work to keep the calories up. I may switch over to no food after I finish the turkey I bought last night.
I really want to get a lot of this off, before we go Camping at the end of July. I'd love to get into the water with my kids. I am SO self conscious.. last time we went, i wouldn't even go in wearing shorts and a t-shirt.
Anyway, I'd like to loose about 60 pounds. I'll post progress if it happens.

YAY it's friday. Means the kids will have no homework, and as soon as I finish my work for today.. I'm going to work on my quilt top.